The Eyes are the Window to Our Soul


08 Dec The Eyes are the Window to Our Soul

I had poor health as a child.  At 7 years old, I remember locking myself in the hallway bathroom, being doubled over in excruciating pain and wanting to die!  I didn’t have any notion to harm myself, but I was longing for Heaven because I knew there’s no pain or tears there.  I begged God to heal me that day and, in exchange, I would go and be a missionary in a hut – somewhere, anywhere!  In my child-like mind, that’s how God healed people; they bartered with Him.  Though my healing didn’t come that day, I was never bitter about it.  I just believed that being sick was my struggle and if I ignored it, maybe it would eventually go away.  I also didn’t really feel ‘called’ to do missions, but I always found joy in serving others.

I grew up attending Sunday school, so it was pretty common to hear stories about missionaries as well as Bible characters.  I’ll never forget hearing the story of Amy Carmichael.  As a child, she longed for blue eyes and begged God to change them.  She believed He was all-powerful and even had the faith He could change her eyes.

“At 35 years old, I finally understand why the physical healing I prayed for years ago didn’t come.”

She prayed and pleaded, but God still did not change them.  Later in her life, she became a missionary and wrote in her journals that her dark eyes were indeed a blessing ‘because they allowed her to blend in and serve a people group, that might not have otherwise accepted her’.  God knew she was going to need those beautiful dark eyes, long before she ever did!

At 35 years old, I finally understand why the physical healing I prayed for years ago didn’t come.  I can clearly see that if God had healed me that day, I wouldn’t be able to relate to others battling chronic pain.  Compassion and sympathy is easier for me to extend because I’ve longed for it my whole life, too.  I have been so warmly accepted into the celiac community because we can all relate to one another.  Even more so, if I can shed another light on this path and share with others what I’ve learned, than God had every reason to not barter with a seven year old.

What about you?  Have you begged, borrowed, or stolen to get out of a situation that maybe God placed you in because it’s the only way He can use you to help others also in it?  When I begin to look at every situation this way, it’s really revealing to see what my calling and purpose in life is becoming.  I look at my husband Joel, who has always been gifted in understanding and implementing technology, and he is still using that gift.  I also see the physical healing God has done in his life and now he can help others the same way, while still using technology.  God knew that we had similar stories, so when He brought us together it really was for helping others, using the ‘gifts’ He gave us.  God also has a master plan, so when we formed our technology company in 2004, He already knew ‘Big Picture Solutions’ would be so much more than that.  Now, 10 years later, God has positioned it to fund the support of our new ROAMSUiTEHOME web page and help others see their ‘Bigger Picture’.

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